Tollete Dolorum
by Calico Magick
Summary: [RobRae] The vision that filled her mind was horrible to view. Dead. All of the Titans, dead. And at her hand. Can she run fast enough to avoid this fate?
1. Descending

**Tollete Dolorum**

'**Take Up Your Sorrow'**

**Disclaimer I do not own Teen Titans. Period. **

**Author Note Ah, never thought I'd do it, but I did. I wrote (am writing?) a Robin/Raven fanfic (or at least it will be). gasp Don't gasp. I'm obsessed, all of a sudden**.

- - -

**Chapter One - Descending**

The pale light from the moon seemed to mingle effortlessly with the monotone voice of the girl sitting cross-legged in the air. Her pale features mirrored that of the perfect disc in the sky, contrasted by her choice of clothing and the color of her short cut hair. Her muttered prayer of sorts fought for control of a disturbed mind.

She fought off the images from the night terrors that had brought her from the comforting embrace of sleep to the chill night air here on the roof of Titan Tower. Eyes closed, but not in peace, she struggled through the confines of her own memory, forever engraved with the gore that threatened to choke her even now.

Her dark hair hung in even darker clumps around her face, and sweat glistened on her face. For once, her meditations were not helping her in the slightest.

The images rose before her again, stronger this time. She opened her mouth, an animal scream of terror rising in her, but no sound passed her lips.

_Blood, terror, and fire. Pain, horror, and death. They embraced the dark girl, who tried to fight but found her limbs useless in this battle. The vision was stronger this time, and opening her eyes proved impossible. _

_She saw them all. Each lay dead or dying before her. Beast Boy, forever trapped in the form of a wolf, dead in pooling blood. Perhaps his was the most kind death. _

_Starfire had died protecting her love, it seemed, for her slumped body, though horribly mangled, lay over Robin's. The boy wonder himself lay unmasked and nearly beheaded. _

_The bile rose in Raven's throat to survey this so far, but the vision did not end there. _

_Cyborg had been dismantled, his mechanical half gone completely while only what had once remained of flesh lay in a charred heap. _

_Tears streamed down Raven's face freely as she surveyed the last of her friends deaths. Terra's. The boisterous blonde lay enshrined across a boulder. It appeared that she had been tied down and beaten to death, for the body was a mass of bruises and blood with her face. _

_Raven fought for control, but couldn't help but whimper when she surveyed the dead teens once more. _

_Stairs leading upwards tempted her, but she wanted only to flee from the murder of her friends. She fled upwards, each step taking more effort but rage and fear driving her further. _

_She had not made it this far in her dreams. This time, however, the vision would not free her. _

_At the head of the stairs, she paused, horrified. _

_She had found herself. _

_And she was kneeling at her father's feet. _

Finally free, the vision released her. She flailed around until she hit the surface of the tower's roof, hard. Her breathing came raggedly, her face stained from tears she hadn't realized she was shedding. Fighting for control that seemed so fleeting, so pointless, a pain overtook her and doubled her over.

'_My daughter. . . my heir.'_

She bit down, hard, not realizing that her lip was in the way. When the iron taste of blood filled her mouth, she coughed until she vomited.

Pushing herself away, she looked around.

The voice had been in her mind, she knew, but she looked around for him anyway. Trigon. Her father.

'_You will be the one. . . you will prove your worth.'_

She closed her eyes, trying to ignore his voice. That voice that she had so long ago learned to fear, and loathe.

'_It will not be I who slays the Titans, my dear. . .'_

Her mouth formed the word, but she couldn't speak it.

'_It will be you.'_

- - -

She didn't remember blacking out, but the sun was high in the sky when she finally awoke the next morning. She shivered, though the sun had warmed her pale body. This cold came from within, and she doubted she would ever be warm again.

That vision. . . premonition? . . . had left it's scar on her mind. She would never hurt the Titans. She hesitated. She wouldn't if she was in her right mind, she reasoned.

Half of her blood was demonic. Could she truly control it? Had she ever really controlled it?

No.

She was now a danger to her friends, and she could not afford to be. Until she could control her demon side, she was a liability.

She was a risk.

She would have to leave them.

She didn't want to, and knew she had to.

She reasoned to herself. Terra had been in that vision. Dead, but there. Which meant that the blonde girl would have to be returned from her stone prison before the vision could take place.

Letting out a long held breathe, Raven mused she had time.

How much, however, she didn't know.

Descending the stairs into the Tower, she mulled over where she would go. Could she return to peaceful Azarath, and dare bring that threat to those who had trained her?

It had been because of her father that she'd come to Earth. She knew that her friends weren't ready to face Trigon.

Especially if she was seduced by her demonic heritage. She closed her eyes, and fervently hoped that she could avoid that future.

Azarath was out of the question, at least for now. She would had to find a way to help herself, then. She would have to go on the run.

Until then. . . she vowed to find a way to tell her friends, instead of disappear into the night. She couldn't do that to them.

Pausing, she realized that she stood outside the door to the living room. She hesitated a long moment, staring at the door.

She could see, in her mind, Beast Boy and Cyborg hard at one of their racing games. She could see Starfire cheering, perhaps with a bowl of 'pudding of happiness' in her lap. She could see Robin, eyes closed (though who could ever tell when they were closed behind that mask?) listening to one of his favorite songs, blaring on the radio.

She sighed, and keyed the door open.

She almost smiled, despite her heavy mind, at how accurate, down to the pudding of happiness, that she had been.

"Oh! Friend Raven! Would you like to partake in the pudding of happiness!?" Starfire exclaimed upon sighting the darker girl.

Raven closed her eyes. "No." she replied evenly. At Starfire's crestfallen expression, Raven added: "Thanks anyway, Starfire, I'm not hungry."

Starfire smiled broadly and went back to cheering for her friends.

Robin, however, stared at her as she walked passed him. She could feel his eyes following her as she disappeared into the kitchen.

With shaking hands, she pulled a box of her favorite herbal tea out of the cupboard. When she finally dropped in onto the counter, she closed her eyes and tried to calm herself.

"What's wrong, Raven?"

She started, turning around with her hands glowing black before she realized that it was only Robin who had interrupted her.

She released the burst of power she'd gathered and sighed to herself, silently. She needed to get a grip.

"Nothing." she finally replied to his question, turning back to stare at the offending box of tea. She assumed that he had gone, because the kitchen remained silent as she filled the teapot with water and set it on the stove with only minimal shaking hands and sweaty palms.

"I don't think it's nothing." Robin's voice chipped in, finally. She glanced over at him, steeling her expression into a glare. He shrugged. "If you want to talk, Raven. . ."

"I don't need to talk!" she growled, then was instantly remorseful for it. Not only at Robin's bruised pride, but because the teapot she'd been heating shattered with that burst of anger.

Sighing, she turned the stove off and moved to pick up the pieces.

Yelping, she realizing just how hot the pieces were.

"Here." Robin gently took her wrist and held her burnt fingers under a cool stream of water from the facet. She found herself blushing before she realized exactly what was happening.

"Thanks." she breathed. Robin turned to her, and she was a little startled to realize how close they were. It would only take a little bit of a motion to kiss him. . .

She immediately berated herself for the thought, and yet wondered at it.

"No problem." he released her wrist a moment later, looking away. She glanced down, mentally kicking herself. When he glanced back at her, his expression was softer. "I'm serious, Raven. If you need to talk. . . I'm here for you."

He left the kitchen on that note, and Raven let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. What had brought that on, she wondered. All of it.

The urge to kiss him. . . was there something there? No, impossible, she reasoned. She was beyond love, and it was forbidden to her.

His sudden concern for her. . . was she seeing more there than actually was? She must be! Robin was in love with Starfire, not the dark maiden with the burned hand. He must have just been showing concern for her as their leader.

And she had more important things to worry about, besides.

Like how to tell her friends that she was their greatest doom.

- - -

**Fin. **

**-The Celtic Raven.**

"I'm _descending_ into you. . ."

**-Descending, Scars of Life**


	2. Circle of Fears

**Tollete Dolorum**

'**Take Up Your Sorrow'**

**Author Note A shorter chapter. Remember, review!**

**- - - **

**Chapter Two - Circle of Fears**

The room was stuffy, she finally decided. This room that she had lived in for nearly a year as a Titan. . . her personal living space, that she defended on pain of death . . . was suffocating her. On impulse she threw open the heavy, dark curtains and let the sunlight stream in.

Opening her window, a chill breeze took her room and she shook. Not of cold, though. She couldn't even feel the wind on her bare legs.

How could she tell them? And yet, how couldn't she? She paced the length of her rooms, and uncharacteristic behavior in itself, and wanted to scream in annoyance.

Meditation was out of the question. She couldn't bring herself to try since. . . since. . . since last night.

She had long and hard looked at her beloved mirror to Nevermore, and wondered if going there was wise or not.

In her annoyance, she knew her powers would be less effective. She knew, somehow, that she needed to regain control.

Was this the first step?

Ready to scream, she picked up the mirror and looked deeply into it.

Speaking only a word, she was gone and the mirror floated lazily down back unto the dresser that it forever rested upon.

- - -

Robin was worried.

And it wasn't for either Cyborg or Beast Boy, who were currently rolling on the floor in the living room, embroiled in an argument over whether Cyborg's win 'counted'.

It was for Raven.

Something was wrong. Something more than the girl's love of privacy. She'd been badly shaken when she entered the living room earlier.

Something. . . something had terrified her.

He could only imagine what could terrify that woman. It had to be bad. It had to be horrible.

He only wished she would talk about it.

Robin knew that pushing her would only cause her to retreat more, but he wanted to go surging off to her door and beat it down, demanding to know what was wrong.

For a long time now he'd been wondering at the strange feelings that had been rising to the surface concerning the dark haired girl. He'd thought it was love he felt for Starfire, but these strange new feelings for Raven were so much more than what Starfire invoked in him. So much deeper.

Was it love? He didn't know. He suspected that he might never know.

He did, however, know that Raven was an essential part of the Titans. They needed her at the peak of performance if they were to remain a working force.

That was definitely his reasoning side surfacing.

What better could he do? He would just go and talk to her. . . as a friend.

- - -

She stood, rock still, staring down the half-circle of emotions staring back.

"What do you mean?"

Courage spoke up first, loud as always. "Just what we said! There's too much going on in here to really pinpoint anything."

Raven sighed. "Fine. Can you guys at least keep me in check?"

They nodded. "We can manage that."

"Good. . ." she trailed. Closing her eyes for a minute, she spoke softly. "I can't afford a breakdown. We have to remain in complete control. Get Fear under control."

Fear started to protest, but Raven was gone before she could utter a word.

- - -

A gentle knock on her door caused Raven to look up. She'd been sitting on the edge of her bed since she'd returned from Nevermore, contemplating whether or not she should march off right now and tell her friends or savor what time left they had.

"Raven?"

Robin again. She stood and opened her door. With Fear suppressed, she felt only a deep, lingering sadness.

Robin stood there, looking at her evenly.

"Are you alright?" he pressed. She nodded slowly, avoiding his look. She opened her mouth to speak when the lights in Titan Tower started flashing. Trouble called.

"Trouble." Robin voiced, needlessly. "Let's go!"

- - -

Nothing. That was what they had found at the supposed 'crime scene'. Nothing.

Caution in excess, they wandered around, searching for something. . . anything.

A blast of energy knocked Cyborg square in his chest, throwing him backwards. Raven tensed, but it was Starfire and Robin who reacted first. The redhead tossed the boy wonder at the newly surfaced enemy.

Raven didn't recognize them. It didn't seem to matter. When they didn't have the element of surprise, they seemed relatively weak.

She was wrong the minute she realized that this mysterious enemy had herded them into a trap. A cage of this same mysterious energy rose around the five Titans.

Raven seethed.

"Now now now, isn't that just so pretty? I picked a pack of Titans!"

"Not a whole pack!" a new voice yelled, and a boulder larger than this strange enemy by threefold crashed into them.

Terra floated into view, perched upon her trademark boulder-ride.

Raven's jaw dropped, and terror rose in her. She was out of time now.

The cage around them faded, as Beast Boy ran headlong and crashed into Terra. Lucky for the girl, he changed into a puppy midleap or she would have crashed to the floor.

Laughing, she cuddle the puppy.

"Terra!" the others exclaimed.

Raven took one more look at the blonde and closed her eyes.

- - -

**Fin**

**-The Celtic Raven**

"**Feel it all surround me. **

**I bring all your hate into my bones. **

**I know that you can't stand me."**

**-"Pool of Fears" by Scars of Life**


	3. Breaking Down

**Tollete Dolorum**

''**Take Up Your Sorrow''**

**Author Note Duuuude, seven reviews! Awesome! hugs her reviewers Well, here's chapter three. Oh, and for someone who asked:**

'**Tollete Dolorum' means "Take Up Your Sorrow" in Latin. **

**Disclaimer I no own, you no sue. **

**- - - **

**Chapter Three - Breaking Down**

As can be expected, much of the rest of the evening was a "party of welcoming" for Terra. She was plied with food, soda, and many nuzzles from Beast Boy in various forms.

Raven, however, had disappeared. Terra noticed this, and instantly feared that the gothic girl would never forgive her. So, at the first opportunity, she slipped away from the revelry and knocked hesitantly on Raven's door.

"Raven? Can we. . . talk?" she started, lamely. 'Yeah, that was so eloquent.' she thought, fighting a sigh.

A long moment passed before the door slid open, Raven standing on the other side. The dark haired girl looked worse for the wear, and Terra had to wonder what inner demons had been chasing the girl through her mind.

She had no way of knowing how literal that thought could be translated.

"Hi." Terra started, again cursing herself for her lack of smooth talking abilities.

"Come in." Raven finally muttered, moving further into the darkened room. Terra followed, next to shocked. How many of the Titans had ever been invited into this dark sanctuary?

"Raven. . . I wanted to apologize to you, especially." she began, shakily.

Raven said nothing. She opened her mouth for a cutting remark, but she couldn't bring herself to berate this turncoat for her treasonous actions.

Not when she was fighting a future that she would do the same thing.

"Terra. . . if I tell you something. . . will you promise to tell the others when you think the time is right?" she trailed. "Not now. . . but you'll know when to tell them."

Terra blinked. This had not been what she'd expected when she came here. "Of course, Raven."

Raven stood for a long time, staring out her window into the darkness. She said nothing, and Terra grew more edgy by the minute. Finally, the half-demon spoke.

"I have to leave the Titans."

Terra was shocked. "Raven, if this is because of me, I'll-"

"No! It's not about you!" Raven growled, and Terra was silent. "I have to leave, for the good of the team. Tell them. . ." she paused, thinking. She couldn't break down, couldn't let this hurt her so much. "Tell them that I'll come back someday, but I couldn't stay as I am. I'm too much of a danger."

Terra hesitated. "I thought you were in control. Meditation, and all."

Raven smirked. "Meditation helps, but not against my very blood." Terra was puzzled, but knew that Raven wouldn't elaborate.

The dark haired girl went on. "I'll be back, someday. . . make sure they know that."

There was a long, uncomfortable silence, then finally Terra spoke.

"When are you leaving?"

"Not right now, but within the day." Raven finally spoke up. She looked at the blonde girl, long and hard. "Terra, why did you turn against us?"

Terra winced. "I thought that you guys were laughing at my lack of control. Slade didn't. I know how wrong I was."

"If you guys ever end up fighting me. . . for whatever reason. . . make sure that you don't hesitate. Promise me, Terra. . . if you end up fighting me, kill me. You defeated me before. Kill me next time."

Terra paled. "Raven, I couldn't."

"Promise me!" she growled.

Terra hesitated. "I promise."

The two girls locked eyes.

"Thank you."

- - -

When Terra reemerged into the living room, Raven in tow, Robin was more than a little surprised. He'd thought that the two would take weeks to make up.

Oh well, it was for the better of the team that their problems had been settled now.

And yet. . .

Terra kept glancing at Raven, worried. Had their problems been settled, after all? They seemed comfortable enough around each other.

Then what was the problem? Had the blonde picked up that something was wrong with Raven?

This was going to drive him insane.

Moving across the living room, he "accidently" knocked into Raven. The girl jumped, then glared at him.

"Excuse you." she muttered, trying to move on. Robin caught her arm and gently led her towards the kitchen.

"Help me get some drinks." he offered with a forced smirk. She stiffened, wrenching her arm from his grip, but walked with him.

"Sure."

Once in the kitchen, away from prying eyes, he started the interrogation.

"So, what's wrong?"

She stiffened again, even more than the 2x4 she'd resembled moments ago.

"Nothing."

He sighed. "Raven, something's wrong. You're tense, and you're jumpy. You're powers have got to be suffering from this. I just want to make sure that you'll be ok in a fight."

Liar, his mind shot at him.

Raven glanced at him. "I've been meditating. My powers are alright." she finally finished, her tone sad and mournful. She looked away, piling sodas on a tray.

Robin wished, for once, he could admit. . .

That he could admit it wasn't Starfire who walked his dreams.

Sighing, he picked up the tray. "Alright. Just. . . if you need someone to talk to. . ."

She nodded. "I know. You're there. We've been through this." she growled, brushing past him.

He sighed and followed with the sodas.

- - -

True night fell around the tower slowly, with most of the Titans passed out in the living room. Raven, however, wasn't. She, in fact, couldn't sleep at all. Packing a few of her most treasured things, including her hand mirror, she found she felt like she was running away.

And she was.

As she packed, memories engulfed her. So many memories, with her friends.

Her friends. She'd rarely shown even a shred of 'like' for them, but they'd stayed loyal to her. They'd understood, finally, that this was how she was.

Would they understand her empty room in the morning? She doubted it. She knew she'd be marked a traitor.

A traitor.

She'd just have to deal with that. She couldn't stay.

But. . .

She hesitated, picking up her bag.

Terra would tell them.

She slipped out into the hall, nearly shaking. She'd cursed Terra for leaving. She'd cursed the girl silently.

And now she was no different.

She moved silently, and only paused when she reached Robin's door.

She hesitated. Was the boy wonder inside?

For the first time in her life, she felt impulsive. She felt some strange emotion rising to the surface. Something she'd never felt.

Keying open Robin's door, she left her bag at the entrance and slipped in. He looked so peaceful as he slept.

It was too bad that he was as untouchable as her, if only in a different way.

She stood a long time watching him sleep, puzzling over her emotions. She couldn't explain what had prompted her standing here.

"Raven. . ." he muttered, in his sleep.

Raven started. Had he just said her name?!

Shocked, she stared at him. Why had he said her name? Was he dreaming of her?

She shivered and turned to go. Something stopped her at the door, and she turned back.

She leaned over the sleeping man and kissed him softly.

"I'm sorry." she whispered, retreating quickly now.

And into the night, she was gone.

- - -

**Fin**

**The Celtic Raven**

"**When you tell me it's all that and walk off."**

**-"Descending" by Scars of Life**


	4. Silent Words

**Tollete Dolorum**

'_**Take Up Your Sorrow'**_

**Author Note mutters to herself She kissed him! Well, she won't let herself live that down for days. **

**Disclaimer I no own, you no sue. **

**- - - **

**Chapter Four - Silent Words**

The silence was heavy, and dark.

Raven walked, feeling she shouldn't draw more attention to herself than was necessary. The night was still heavy around her. She reveled in the dark cloak of night; the silence and protection.

She reveled in the companionship, of sorts, and wondered at her friends. It wasn't even morning yet. No one knew she was gone, yet.

He didn't know she was gone yet.

The lingering feelings from that kiss should have fled hours ago. That kiss should never of happened. She berated herself for it.

A weakness.

She couldn't afford weaknesses now. Not until she could defeat her father, once and for all. That was what she had finally decided she needed to do.

That was her fate, really.

And she found that Fear had risen in her again.

- - -

Robin was the first awake the next morning. He stumbled into the living room. Something was wrong, he know. Something. He couldn't shake that feeling.

He almost tripped over Beast Boy, in the form of a lazy house cat, in his rush into the room.

Terra, Beast Boy, and Cyborg all lay in various form on the floor, with Starfire curled up on the couch.

He paused.

Where was Raven?

Then he kicked himself. Surely the dark girl wouldn't have slept out here. She must be in her room. He all but ran to it, and found her door open.

And her bed empty.

- - -

Terra squirmed as Robin paced.

"Where would she have gone?" he muttered, obsessively. The blonde opened her mouth to speak, but found she couldn't. "Dammit, it's my fault! Why couldn't I just have talked to her? What was wrong!?"

Terra coughed politely and Robin glared in her direction.

"Raven said she'll be back."

That got Robin's, let alone the rest of the Titan's, attention. She found herself the focus of a lot of nervous and unhappy energy.

"She told me yesterday that she had to leave." The looks she received for that comment could have frozen fire in it's most ethereal form. She winced. "She didn't tell me why. . . something about her blood, but she promised she'd be back."

Robin growled under his breath and started pacing again.

Terra thought for a moment, but decided that it would be best if she didn't mention what the darker girl had made her promise.

- - -

The morning light was bright. Very bright, in fact, and Raven was glad to get out of the rapidly warming daylight. She set her bag next to her bed. This motel wasn't great, but it would have to do.

It was cheap, and that was all that really mattered. Until she had a plan, she needed a place to stay.

But where could she go?

She sighed and uncharacteristically plopped down on the bed. Her body was weary, if her mind wasn't.

She hadn't slept at all the past night, and had been walking all day. At least, she mused, she wasn't in Jump City anymore. They couldn't find her here.

And she couldn't find them here, either.

She closed her eyes, fighting away the smiling faces in her memory.

She'd abandoned them. She'd left without telling them, although her heart ached and she'd swore she wouldn't.

She had.

She only hoped that Terra could explain, and knew that the girl didn't know enough to tell them enough. She should have stayed.

With a sigh the threatened to free Depression in her mind, she turned on her side and curled up on top of the covers.

She didn't want to sleep. She didn't want to be that vulnerable.

Before that thought was fully formed, she fell asleep.

- - -

Robin sat in his room, silent. He stared out the window, at the bright mid-afternoon sky.

Where had she gone? And why?

He shook his head.

"Why, Raven? Why leave us. . ." he trailed off, sighing finally as he stood. The articles that fluttered in the afternoon breeze didn't catch his attention. Slade was gone, finally, for good. There was nothing more to research. He just didn't have the heart to pack them away.

It was like packing away that part of his life.

One of the few parts, now, that had Raven in it.

He sighed, thinking of the previous night. Of his dreams, in fact.

He blushed a little when he realized just how. . .intimate. . . some of those dreams got. It was embarrassing, but only managed to cement his feelings for her, in some strange, perverted way.

He finally closed his eyes.

"I won't look for you, Raven. I trust you to come back." he spoke, but knew he was lying to himself, and Raven whether or not she could hear him.

- - -

**-Fin**

**Raven the Morrigu**

"_**Deep inside, alone**_

_**This worlds coming down on me again**_

_**No where to run to**_

_**As these twisted thoughts flow**_

_**Through my head."**_

**-Scars of Life, "Silent Words"**


	5. Forever Missing

**Tollete Dolorum**

'_**Take Up Your Sorrow'**_

**Author Note I wasn't sure what to do with this. So I decided to do this. . . smiles **

**Disclaimer I no own, you no sue. **

**- - - **

**Chapter Five - Forever Missing**

'You can't stop the fire.'

Someone screamed. She didn't realize she was the one screaming until her throat was too raw to utter another sound. She coughed once, blood staining her lips as she forced herself to breathe normally.

'You're so useless.'

"Shut up!"

She threw her hands out in front of her, muttering a spell. Her rasping voice made her sound older, and nearly dead.

She hoped that wasn't so.

'Why don't you throw yourself on those flames?'

She ignored the harping sound of her own mind and focused on the fire.

The building was a day care building for small children. She passed it everyday as she paced the streets. Something about the brightly painted sign and flower clings in the windows had always sparked something in Raven's mind.

She'd never had a real childhood. Maybe that was part of it.

Today, the place was on fire. She'd seen it and came running. She barely remembered hearing the woman who owned this place scream that there was still a little boy inside. She barely remembered forcing her way in.

Now she was surrounded, and her own powers were barely useful enough to keep her alive.

She cursed her weakening control.

It had been three months, and no good had as of yet come from leaving Titan Tower. Her control wavered more with each day.

The voices has made their appearance two weeks ago. She still struggled to ignore them.

A crash behind her, and the flames licked at her. She was suddenly very glad she'd taken to not wearing her blue cloak around anymore. She'd left it folded and tucked into a trunk of things in the room she was renting.

If she'd been wearing it, no doubt it would have already been on fire.

A whimpering sound snapped all senses onto the task at hand. Save the child. Save him before everything around her collapsed.

She was thinking about more than the burning building.

- - -

When she emerged, the small boy cradled against her left hip, she was nearly faint with fatigue and smoke inhalation. She turned the child over to frantic parents who professed their undying gratitude, and then she stumbled off.

She managed to duck away before the paramedics grabbed her and forced her to stick around.

Coughing gently, she turned back towards her little set of rooms. They weren't lavish, but they were the best she could afford.

In the three months she'd been away, not only had she not reaffirmed her control, she'd nearly lost it completely. She'd slipped into a deep depression.

Then the voices had appeared, and Nevermore had become closed to her. She was so heartily confused, she had so often considered returning to her friends.

Then the gory vision would reappear, if only in memory, and she would be forced to curl up in the corner until it passed.

No, she could not return home. Not yet. Not until she got this under control.

Not home. . . but perhaps it was time to return to Azarath. Perhaps the peaceful people would be the only ones who could help her reattain the control that had once come so easily to her.

She couldn't let him win. She just couldn't.

Her mind finally clear, she clung to that one island of safety amidst dark thoughts. Dark, evil thoughts, and a set of memories too hard to face.

- - -

"Robin?"

The boy wonder turned, slightly, and stared at Terra.

"What do you want?"

The blonde winced. He'd never said it, but she knew that he blamed her for letting Raven go.

"Robin, come inside. It's dark, and cold. You'll get sick."

He glared.

Every night for three months, he'd stood here, waiting. Once one of Raven's favorite hideouts, the rooftops had become the ruby-chested bird's nest, now.

"Go away."

Terra sighed and retreated. She knew better than to try and force him.

- - -

Closing her eyes was the final task. If she could just close her eyes, she could get some sleep. If she could take that risk, she could sleep.

Her eyes remained stubbornly open.

She was exhausted. Just, so tired. . .

Finally, she passed out.

But she wasn't alone. A white-robed woman appeared before her. She couldn't remember more than a word or two when she finally awoke, but she had the distinct feeling that she'd been summoned.

To Azarath.

- - -

**-Fin**

**Raven the Morrigu**

"_**You walk on by. **_

_**Walk one by. **_

_**Wondering why."**_

_**-"Comalies" by Lacuna Coil**_


	6. No More Love Songs

**Tollete Dolorum**

'**_Take Up Your Sorrow'_**

**Author Note - This is what we call an evasive move. smiles I have the distinct feeling that you guys are gonna kill me. **

**Disclaimer - I do not own... depressing, I know, but it's true.**

**- - - **

**Chapter Six - No More Love Songs**

Robin was ready to scream. He paced like a caged rabbit. Only the fact that he had absolutely no idea where Raven was... if she was even on a plane he could get to... kept him from leaving Titans Tower, and had kept him here for the last three months.

Charging into the training room, he cursed under his breath as he flipped on the radio. He was dismayed when the song started a little weird. He feared techno, but he stuck it out when the first lyric passed the speakers. A dark melody then. Something with less bump, and more angst.

Fine by him. Tackling the punching bags, he was content to work out his frustrations, and perhaps more, on the bag.

When he decided he couldn't possible move another inch, he decided a shower was in order and left the room.

But that haunting, dark melody stuck with him. A dark melody, and a mystery. Like Raven.

- - -

Standing with hands crossed before her, Raven found it exceedingly hard not to squirm. She was getting yelled at!

"I don't understand how you could lose control of your powers! You were the model of composed!"

She winced and muttered a disclaimer.

"Raven, I'm so disappointed in you."

She sighed, eyes downcast.

"On a slightly more personal note, though... I'm glad to see you, Raven. You look well, all things considered."

The robed man approached her and rested his hands on her shoulders. "What's really troubling you, daughter of my soul?"

She sighed and blew out a controlled breath. She tried to look at anything but the extremely concerned blue eyes currently boring a hole in the back of her head. She chewed on her lip, examined a hang nail, and finally gave up.

"I had a dream." She launched into an explanation of the dream, excluding the specifically gory details, but stressing how real it was. When she was done, she glanced up into those concerned eyes and was shocked to see him horrified.

"Well, that does explain a few things."

- - -

Titan Tower was silent. No sounds. Not even the usual hum of the security system.

A shadow descended on the Tower, slipping from room to room and making sure that each of the Titans was trapped in their own worst nightmare. They would not wake. Not until they had faced their fears. Teenagers were well known for their reluctance to do that, so Trigon was sure he had them.

He could see each dream in his own mind's eye. This would be amusing. As he watched, he worked slowly and specifically to trap each of the terror stricken Titans bodily as well as in mind. By the time they woke, he would have already won.

Raven would have no choice but to serve him if he controlled her dear little friends.

- - -

**Fin**

**_Sorry that took so long to get up. Don't worry, I promise the next chapter will be longer and come soon_. **


	7. It's Not Enough

**Tollete Dollorum**

**'Take Up Your Sorrow'**

**Author Note: I know, it's been forever, but I'm inspired to work on this story. I may even finish it within the week. Maybe XD**

**Disclaimer: See previous chapters.**

**Chapter Seven: It's Not Enough**

He couldn't reach her fast enough. He knew that long before he reached the side of the skyscraper. He wanted to scream, wanted so badly to stop this horrible visage from coming to be, but he knew when he could see her again, her life would be stamped out.

"It's not enough, it's not enough, it's not enough."

The mantra pounded in his ears, in her voice. Accusing him, for not trying to reach her. Blaming him, for her certain death.

And it was his fault. Slade had caused this. If only he had tried harder.. If only things weren't working out this way.

When Robin looked over the side of the building, he could see Raven's still form twenty floors below, in a pool of crimson. The fall had killed her, like the fall had killed so many close to him.

He clenched his eyes closed and screamed.

- - -

"It's not enough!"

"It's all your fault, you know."

"No one loves you."

"They're just lying, like before."

"You're so obsolete."

Raven shot awake, sitting straight up. She was drenched in sweat, like she'd been running, the bedcovers tangled around her legs. She carefully picked herself out and stood, brushing her hair out of her face.

What had that been? Something horrible, and yet not her own fears. Then whose?

She closed her eyes before opening them to stare into the mirror about her dresser. A riddle. Great. She hated riddles.

She studied her face, ignoring the riddle until her mind cleared itself. Her violet hair was looking shinier, more like before she had left the Tower. This came from proper eating and full nights of rest. Other than this night, she hadn't even dreamed since she'd come to Azarath. The shadows under her eyes were faded, but the shadows in her eyes probably would never fade. That suited her fine.

The riddle come to the front of her mind. Whose fears?

It hit her all at once, bringing a gasp from her. "No!"

- - -

She ran. She'd come back to Earth abruptly, but not close enough to Titan's Tower to be in time. She had to hurry. She knew she was too late already.

When she entered the Tower, she knew it was empty. She knew that she would find no one here.

And she didn't.

When she emerged, her eyes were cold, and she knew where to find them.

"**And when they say you're not that strong**

**You're not that weak.**

**It's not your fault.**

**And when you climb up to your hill**

**Up to your place**

**I hope you're well."**

**-Not Enough, by Our Lady Peace**


End file.
